Rarely Asked Questions
Q: How long does the show last, if I’m travelling near the speed of light?
A: It will approach eternity, which is a great deal because you’ll still be paying the same price as everyone else for your ticket*. For stationary audience, it’s approximately 90 minutes.
Q: Do I need a referral from my primary care physician?
A: No, though if you haven’t been in a while it’s probably a good idea to get a checkup. Dying during the performance isn’t just socially awkward, it’s also inconsiderate.
Q: Where can I see a picture of Adam Strauss with his shirt unbuttoned?
A: We don’t know what you’re talking about. (pssst….)
* Note however, that once you return to the same acceleration/location as everyone else, whatever currency you have will likely be worthless after billions of years of inflation.